i heard someone talk like miss swan today- really.

i dont really know what to write now.
dont really remember what happened recently.
physics test tmr, and i dont give a damn about it.
i know i have to, cos like even if i dont like that subject.
i chose it, so i have to be responsible.
but i haven got a choice right?
i always wanted pure bio and chem.
but school dint proved- why?

gotta find out where senja 623 is exactly.
and how i can go there from here.



school was alright.
temperature taking, i was like 37.6?
i think is okay what, but mr cheong like give me the i think you faked it kinda look.
and dint want to let me go genral office so i might can go home.

hl, was dumb, i am very sure there is more sitting down to go.
and more scoldings from mrcheong.
i wish he'd be more happy go lucky, and not get angry over such little things.
i mean, it desnt help in his raise or anything, right?

rest of the day was alright.

yuntheng, ling, angsiang and nicholas came over.
majong was bad.
i kept getting too many cards, or too little.
its like all of a sudden. so pekchek.

thats about all for today.
i have to get tuition for maths,
intro anyone?

toby' hair is like dropping forever.
i really wonder, what if.
i mean what if.
one day i coughed out fur balls?
omgosh. i cannot belief i even thought of that.


就算是爱你的，自己不清楚，又怎么样呢?

school was alright, but ahd quite a hard time keeping myslef awake.
maths is disasterous.
i failed both badly, both at the bottom of class.
wonder how i'd cope,
really considering dropping amths le.
i wont be able to cope with two maths kill me at once!

choir is funyy,
miss woon/woo is nice, so we laughed alot.

gotta go and study for ss le, byebye.


how can someone actually expect me to not be rude, when the people around me is?
my mom, she is seriously so -censored-

let me tell you what happened,

we went to the market, to get stuff for tonights dinner,
so i told her about how i suddenly wanted to drink something really cold, iceblended?
i asked her if we had a ice blender, no.

on our way back, i suggested that i could mash ice.
she told me to get slurpy, i think its really damn sweet,
too sweet for me, and we just passsed it, i was lazy you see.

so i still suggested that i could mash it by myself.
she scold me saying how the icecubes are limited and stuff.
(its not like we were onna have a party or whatever, ice, can make more one right? and even if she had a party, sh'ed either use chilled packet drinks, or fruitcocktails. with big ice blocks.)
and then asked me to use the big blocks.
i said yes. then,
she got all pissed and started shouting that if i smashed the floor.
she would smash my head and stuff.
funny right? how the ?!@ can i smash the floor??

when i got home, i decided, since she so fan dui.
i took a blttle, filled up with grasspower and started trying to fit ice in.
you see, bottle's mouth is kinda small, so it would take awhile to find the right size right?
she got pissed again,
and sarted scolding me saying how i left the firdge door open-when my maid did it.
and how the ice would melt and stick on...

then she kept usin the f words to say me.
like how
i have no f-ing brain
i am a f-ing piece of shit.
all the f-ing things i am scolding her with now - when i jut kept quite TRYING hard to be miss nicey.

goddamn. tobe just went over to her while she was cutting chicken?
and she got pissed teling him how she would kill him.
and whacked him real hard.

end of story.

you see, isent she violent?
she keeps using the if you not happy get out of my house.
just because she has daddy to kao.
wtf. she is actin so fake recently. and i mean it.
she would keep quite when i suaned her.
then when daddy scolded me for doing so.
she would scold me too. tell me about it.

she is acting like some evil witch cursing and swearing everyone, every where she goes.


happy cny!
this few days has been good=D

renuion dinner day was alright,
went over early to see if i could help grandma,
but the veggie had a special way to cut and stuff,
and i dint really understand,
and we had steam boat, so you'd have to cook yourself.
ended ip sleeping in the room.

first day was good,
went to ahma's house, while waiting for biao jie they all to come,
we gambled,
starting wasnt that good,
ahgong wiped out all our money and left.
so i was like maintianing but not recovering yet.
then when ahjiu became banker,
i started spliting(like one person playing two, chance of winning better, but losing also better.)
my luck came, really.
i had like one black jack, and another gor leng( the five cards below 21 kind)
so i like won atleast fifty bucks with the start of fifteen.
haha. happy day.

today, went to uncle chris's house, dads friend.
gor dint go, so i earned more the him.
and we went to relatives house for a gathering.
i wasnt suppoe to get any angpows,
cos my greatgrandmom died, so they like have to mourn for three years.
and this is the last,
got five angpows in the and each 10 or 20. niceee.

wonder whats up for tomorrow,
either go out,
or go gamble at grands.
tataa.


school was crappy,
hl sucked, i mean, hl used to be the only excersixe i'd look forward to in a week,
but now, mr sunny maks it so dreadful.
i mean, he doesnt even know how to lead us and stuff.
last time,.. mrkok just arranged us with cones on the first ten mins of the first lesson,
and we had fun for the ther rest.
im not saying sunny isent good or what, but he just doens know how to lead us,
he like forces us to do it,
this kinda things cannot be forced, right?

the celebration was really lame,
it feels though they are just celebrating for the sake of cny,
its lame. really suckky

mr cheong smiled at me, i really dont understand him.
sometimes he can be such an angel,
then another moment he is so mean.
like split personality, its weird.

watched ghost rider after school,
i thought it was nice, unlike what nicholas and angsiang said.
i realised how i'd always think the show i wanna watch is nice.
i think thats a good thing, atleast i dont regret haha.

people like elaine, angsiang are hard to satisfy,
they cannot find a show that was nice to them.
other then spiderman for elaine.

i like nicholas cage<3
and i think that guy that acted as the younger version of him.
was really cute and had a macho body.
wonder whats his name is..
nicholas cage looked really young in the show, haha
maybe its the makeup.


five days passed,

i dont really rmemeber what exactly happened,
but valentine day, was memorable=D
went around showing love and giving not-so-sweet-cookies,
and very-very-sweet-chocolates.
i think i got problem gauging sugar.

i'm jealous at elaines chocolate la.
so yummy, and the shape, so xiang yang. haha

ling gave me a rose, i was happy la=D
at first she come over with it, i thought she wanna show me,
then she give me, so touched hha<3

i dint gve it to him afterall,
i really thought he'd be someone i'd really like, after so long,
but then, he, really isent the kinda guy i expected to like,
really.

today, school was as pernormal,
esther came over, and we talked,
i like it when we talk, like two person in a room,
talk about how they feel,
its nice, really.

and i really hate it how _ has to keep looking over,
i really hope he will stop it, even if he says he isent,
i just feel very uncomfortable,
i was already adjusting, pls dont make it worst.

and today, i was really pissed off at mr choeng,
he so what leh, like ARGHHH.
i felt like killing him!

i'm looking forward to syf,
teacher took me in afterall,
its all because of my attendance.
i wanna be good, and not pon le,
i dont wanna get kicked out at tis poin of a time.
i love singing. really.


i feel so wow-ed now.
cos i relaise my internet can open a new tab, i dont really know how to explain.
but its nice the way they did it.

shopped the whole day at imm, got all the stuff i needed.
gonna started doing the stuff tomorrow.
gor's giving a helping hand, cos he too wants to do.

hope i can do the caramel right,
i feel so clever can, i dont know why,
maybe others also know how to do,
but i am satisfied that i too know.

had dinner, came home.
i did the tooot toot toot toot thing on mummy (you know what i mean right est?)
then she got pissed and grab my nad peircing her nails in.
pain lor, then got blood=(

then after that i toot-ed her again,
to show i am angry,
duh she dint understand and when i got down we got into a cat firght.
haha. she kept using her bag to swing me,
and poking the part that is abit below my shoulders.
its very suan, then she make till in like dropped on the floor,
its was violent, but fun. haha.

toby's mouth is starting to stink=(
so anyone that wants to see him,
come soon, later his mouth cha smelly,
doubt you;d wanna se him.
haha. thats about all, gonna clan up the scratch>.<


i am so pissed! i just finish bloggin and blogger had to have problems.
HAD TO!

but i'll blog anyway. just like how i did just now.

did anyone see how fcuking cute louzhixiang was?!?
the performance he had for the dance floor show.
that made me so tempted to go to his qian chang hui this sat.
i'm feeling so should-i-or-should-i-not now.

school past fast today, maybe cos there wasnt maths.
it really helps,
5 1/2 of maths a week. kills.

went for lunch with qiqin this afternoon,
its been agaes since we last had lunch together.
then we went to look for the box and cloth. hope i can find it soon.
box i have an option, its either the ones i have at home,
or the ones from precious thoughts. i'll have to consider.

its wont be much of a secret anymore,
maybe i'll write the letter afterall.
cos it would be quite obvious at the end of the day.

met up with marilyn after qiqn left,
qiqin left incase she was locked out again. haha.
pei marilyn for lunch. and realise how we havent really got anyting to talk about anymore.
its sad, really.

went to get the only-in-undies-sponguebob later.
the one yongsiang thought was ugly.
i was think either i keep or give him,
but since he thought it was ugly, i guess its mine to keep=D

i think i wanna change skin soon, this one very black ad white.
very colorless. very sian. see when i gt the time, and slowwwly look.


choir- ended up no blue form. relieved-

school has been alright this past few days,
but physics really make me wanna sleep.
i wont be surprised if one day my head just goes thud on the table.

i dont know what to say. nor have anything to say now.

ohya. esther lend me this book, and i actually bothered to read it,
AND i actualli secretly read it in class.
that is like so not rachel, its been years since i last read a book.
and i mean years, not including textbooks.

valentines day is coming=D
but got choir. sighh.
i wonder what i shall do. or what i wanna do. hehheh.

i woulden fight, i woulden say.
i'll just stand from afar, oblivious to your flaws.
because its you, that made me that way.


seriously, i do not see why people are so happy about this asean game.
i mean it IS just an asean game.
but oh well~

pissed. i got a blue form,
and i feel so lost now.
i really dont know how my mom will react,
and i am not looking forward to it.

she'd probably diao me and ignore me for the next three days or something.
but on the other hand, i dont really care.
see if i can changed teachers mind anot,
if not its too bad le~

and as i desperately stream through the crowds.
i'd see you, happily with your friends,
it makes me feel at ease=D





today, school ended real quick, surprisingly=D

esther came over, we watch a little bit of happyfeet while having lunch,
and seriously, the chinese dont know how to translate.
they could actually translate a normal english word to mother fucking.
tell me about it. (yeah i kinda forgot the word)

esther pulled me to the park to walk with toby.
he run=D and he was lazy too.
funny thing about esther, she ask me to runnn.
and then asked me to run faster.
when i finished running all the way.
she went, you siao ar, why run so much.
is she mad? haha.

i realised how i'd become realli spastic with esther on the way to causeway under the covered place.
its weird. but i felt happy. so i'm fine with it.


slept in the after noon,
promised myself to wake up one and a half hour later but dint make it.
i feel so lazy la.

math homework, chem homework.
thats about all that i remembr le.

maybe i will drop admath afterall.
the different feeling i have when doing addmath and emath.
very big. cannot cope.

physic can cope le, it actually isent really that bad la.

my eyes are sored from all the crying,
i dont know what to do next,
tell me, will you?