Jasper is coming in on christmas day.
looking forward to it, but half unsure.
two days ago, i had to think about the last night i spent with him,
and started crying. had a bad eye sore in the morning.
crying to sleep is really a bad idea.

i dont know what to expect from Jasper,
and im afraid i'll not like him, cos he may not be the same as toby.

not like how toby would forcefully sit by my tummy, and fall asleep on it.
or take his toys to me, and growl for attention.
or jump on me when i ask to carry.

its sad but there isnt anything i can do about it anymore...

i miss him so much,
i reallyreally do.
i want to hug him once more,
carry him once more,
let him sleep on me once more,
feed him once more,
smell him once more,
kiss him once more,
and let him know how much i love him,
just once more.

it hurts to know i cant,
and i hate that.
i have to admit i hate talking about him,
cos it'll only make me cry.
i hope this would be the last.

was'nt he the sexiest.