its only ten and im tired,
i wanna sleep badly:(
but im waiting for my brother to come home,
he got released today.

its kinda sad cos its only two weeks, and i kinda well, miss him.
but what happens when we all grow up?
what if he goes to some uni overseas, then its like even more impossible for us to meet.
then when we have our own family and stuff,
i'll like never see him forever la.

i wish i had been able to spend more time with him.
like lynette, she hangs out with her bro and friends,
and i dont do that, i feel i have missed out so much,
and now it too late, we are all growing up,
and there is like no more turing back.


some pictures of toby. and a ultra cute video at the bottm, may be a little blur, i think.







you know how i want so badly to stay and study in australia.
i really do, i can imagine myslef there already.
if i have any problems, i got so many cousins to ask for help,
all my aunts there, here in singapore nothing one.
my bro, army now, only one aunt,
and you know how people are different here,
there is all friendly, not like singapore,
all the stupid aunty in the market, always 'tsk' us one,
its like damn @#@%^ la.

BUT!
what happens to my beloved baby if i do go there?
he will be so lonely,
no one to run to when mummy whacks him
no one to secretly feed him fuits
no one to carry him when he wants to look out to the field
no one to cry for when he is scared at night.
whenever i come home, he will be at the door, tail wagging,
and for a moment he will be like v lost, dont kow what to do,
and when he does, he will run and get a toy to lik 'greet' me.
and make sure i carry and snuggle into him.
if im there,
no one will greet me when i come home
no one will demand that i let then on my laap whenever im doing homework
no one will be there for me to hugg tighly when i feel like it.

i like hugs and snuggles, somehow.
an some people* mistook me as a lesbian.
i chose the word mistook okay, haha.


some photos i found in my mom's account. from last year's aust trip, and phantom of the opera.


before phantom




blogging again!
went to nyp today,
i actually went to find out what kinda course suits me,
and not really whether i like nyp anot, haha.

i wanna go healtscience.
i think anythign to do with the body- biology,
is awesomely interesting!
i was like damn emthu lor, everything stand infront and stuff, haha.
but i tell you, the child birth video, was wtf!

although i know that they cut open your v___ but i dint expect to see a head squeezing out.
it was scary.

its every little thing that you do.
i dont mind staying behind a tainted glass,
if i could watch you all the time.
it just feels so comforting,
knowing you are somewhere near me.


i dont know what i wanna be when i grow up.
when i was young, it was easy,
singer, ballerina, blahblah.
but now, everything is like more real,
so we have to be realistic. right?

i dont know how well im gonna do for o's
but i hope i can buck up now, and do my v best.

i wanna have my own cooking show,
and bake stuff, and cook stuff.
or atleast have all sorts of equiptments in my home,
so i can do all sorts of things.
im so tempted to do the waffle cookies i saw in marthastewart's show,
but i dont have waffle machine.

we only have oven, mixer, and bla.
i think ma's gonna get a bread machine from her collegue,
but so what? its not as though she'd let me make bread.
she'd probably be like, no you'll spoil it and stuff.

i remember wanting a breadmachine,
cos i remember looking for it in the internet, cheap ones are i think 200,
ex ones are 300++
i actually thought of buying one myself, but i knew mom would object.
she would prolly like ask me to keep it in my room or something, haha.

i wanna work hard and earn lotsa money,
retire early, and bake and cook everyday,
invest in a bakery, and spread my love for baking to everyone:D

i wish mom and dad were rich,
i remeber this article on life,
about this two brothers having their own kitchen,
with practically everything one would need for baking,
imagine that!
its like giving lynette her own studio and dancing room,
giving yuntheng a room with all sorts of art material she can ever think off!

but life never was that easy, was it?