i cant wait till Angels and Demons is out!!!
but im totally praying its NOT M18
because this is one of those shows you HAVE to watch in the theathers to get the total feel of the show.

while thinkging about that. i was like if its really M18 i wanna get like those fake ID's, but where to? haha.
so i was thinking, actually, if i did get a fake ID, i'd only use it to sneak into the cinema for this show.
cos really, i've got no need to buy liquoir of cigs and stuff.
cos liqiour- i get unlimited access if i want, as in im not stopped by my parents to want to drink it illegally.
cigs- i don't smoke-.- and i think the second hand smoke i get at home is good enough.
so ya, its funny~

this is another movie. i like cos the animation very cute.
ya, thats the only reason why.

i want to watch Marley & Me!
ANYONE PLEASEEEE ASK ME OUT TO WATCH.
im free 1, 3, 5, 7!

i decided not to type out the whole chapter, cos like if you want go get the book-.-
i'll just type out the parts that i felt was really good. which made alot of sense, and which really made an impact on me, as a person whom find science interesting.



‘To the Illuminati,’ he said, his voice deepening, ‘and to those of science, let me say this.’ He paused. ‘You have won the war.’
‘The wheels have been in motion for a long time,’ the camerlengo said. ‘Your victory has been inevitable. Never before has it been as obvious as it is at this moment. Science is the new God.’
‘Medicine, electronic communications, space travel, genetic manipulation… these are the miracles about which we now tell our children. These are the miracles we herald as proof that science will bring us the answers. The ancient stories of immaculate conceptions, burning bushes, and parting seas are no longer relevant. God has become obsolete. Science has won the battle. We concede.’
‘But science’s victory,’ the camerlengo added, his voice intensifying, ‘has cost every one of us. And it has cost us deeply.’

‘Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims the Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident.’ He paused. ‘even the technology that promises to unite us divides us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal. Skepticism has become enlighten thought. Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated then they have at any point in human history? Does science hold anything sacred? Science looks for answers by probing out unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters God’s world into smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning… and all it finds is more question.

‘you have won. But you have not won fairly. You have not won by providing answers. You have won by radically reorienting our society that the truths we once saw as signposts now seem inapplicable. Religion cannot keep up. Scientific growth is exponential. It feeds on itself like a virus. Every new breakthrough opens doors for new breakthroughs. Mankind took thousands of years to progress from wheel to car. Yet only decades from the car into space. Now we measure scientific progress in weeks. We are spinning out of control.’



this is just part one of chapter 94.
part two another day~
and also something else that day.


I've finish Angels and Demons by Dan Brown,
and i have to say, the book was absolutely amazing!
like when i read about how the persons describes faith and on, its really mesmerising...

theres afew parts and chapters i really like.
so im gonna post:D


‘Father’, Chartrand said, ‘may I ask you a strange question?’
The camerlengo smiled, ‘only if I may give you a strange answer.’
Chartrand laughed. ‘I have asked every priest I know, and I still don’t understand.’
‘What troubles you?’ The camerlengo led the way in short, quick strides, his frock kicking out in front of him as he walked. His black crepe-sole shoes seemed befitting, Chartrand thought, like reflections of the man’s essence… modern but humble and showing signs of wear.
Chartrand took and deep breath, ‘I don’t understand this omnipotent-benevolent thing.’
The camerlengo smiled. ‘You’ve been reading Scripture.’
‘I try.’
‘You are confused because the bible describes God as an omnipotent and benevolent deity.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Omnipotent-benevolent simply means that God is all-powerful and well-meaning.’
‘I understand the concept. It’s just… there seems to be a contradiction.’
‘Yes. The contradiction is pain. Man’s starvation, war, sickness…’
‘Exactly!’ Chartrand knew the camerlengo would understand. ‘Terrible things happened in this world. Human tragedy seems like proof God could not possibly be both all-powerful and well-meaning. If He loves us and has the power to change our situation, He would prevent our pain, wouldn’t He?’
The camerlengo frowned. ‘Would He?’

Chartrand felt uneasy. Had he over stepped his bounds? Was this one of those religious questions you just didn’t ask? ‘Well… if God loves us and He can protect us, He would have to. It seems He is either omnipotent and uncaring, or benevolent and power-less to help.’

‘Do you have children, Lieutenant?’
Chartrand flushed. ‘No signore.’
‘Imagine you had an eight-year-old son…would you love him?’
‘Of course.’
‘Would you do everything in your power to prevent pain in his life?’
‘Of course.’
‘Would you let him skateboard?’
Chartrand did a double take. The camerlengo always seemed oddly ‘in tough’ for a clergyman. ‘Yeah I guess,’ Chartrand said. ‘Sure I’d let him skateboard, but I’d tell him to be careful.’
‘so as this child’s father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?’
‘I wouldn’t run behind him and mollycoddle him if that’s what you mean.’
‘But what if he fell and skinned his knee?’
‘He would learn to be more careful.’
The camerlengo smiled. ‘So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child’s pain, you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?’
‘Of course. Pain is part of growing up, it’s how we learn.’

The camerlengo nodded. ‘Exactly.’

camerlengo is not a name hor, its a position.
like how we address a President president.

i find how camerlengo speaks is so intelligent.
his character really attracts me. haha
got another whole chapter which i was totally mesmerised by.
so i'll blog that another day. alot to type hor.



I'm attempting to read Angels and Demons again!
this is the third try, and im doing well.
reading the furtest that ive gotten:D
thanks to my job, cos no customer, then i self-entertain.
the book is good, i dont know why i couldn't finish it the first time.

i think i've started to take a liking toward these kinda books,
like full of history and information.
me really likes it.

cant wait till the movie is out,
gonna be nice to actually watch and anticipate things happening.
and i know is M18, online can watch what...

i like it how i criticise the food i eat.
which mostly is things thats baked.

cos i went to get myself something to eat after work,
cos i only had a breakfast at 930
(work ended at 5, and i never ate anything nor went to toilet since 11, so is not i greedy hor)
so i bought myself a chocolate muffin:D

ate it while walking home,
and i found myself being able to like criticise.
i know im making it sound though i could'nt taste before-.-
but like i really pulled out points.
the muffin was nice, but i felt that they added to much coffee essence
(how many normal ppl can 'know' that? i bet most doesn't even know its essence-.-)

dont even know why im talking about this.
ive always wanted to like open my own shop,
and bake my own cakes cookies and muffins and on.
but i dont know how to start.

i mean like, not to suan anyone,
but i dont think that i should just go to a culinary school now,
then venture next time.
i just think it is no hope one.

i don't know, like i feel i dont have confidence in myself.
like its not easy you know.
cos when i venture. i have to make my own name.
which means inventing new recipes.
and i don't think i have the 'talent' for that.
and even if i did, i don't think im keen on taking any risk to find nothing.

i guess i'll just wait till i get older, and take things step by step.
find out if bio or baking is my thing.


so ive finished watching Driving Lesson and December Boys :D
both is cos of the actors-.-
Driving Lesson is Rupert Grint
December Boys is Daniel Radcliffe
both shows the guys have sex one leh-.-

unfortunately, i cannot watch any of the Harry Potter,
cos i need to download some shit, so i'll have to go rent the VCDs


you know, i think im mad to say this,
but i totally LOVE my job!

okay la, only on sats.
when wylie is there( this wylie is a guy colleague, not wylie girl-classmate-.-)
name is pronounced like what miss tan say- 'willy'
cos he is very 'open' -friendly? so we can really talk-.-
not to mention, we bicker ALOT.
like every single topic, will end arguing.
then i will be like ' okay, okay, i let you win. okay?'
then he will laugh.
then we will both agree on how we are argue-ing on some stupid shit-.-

like cos we needed more small change, so i use the big note,
go buy Starbucks, then pay back in small notes.
then i came back, and i told him how est got a on-the-house up size the other time.
so he told me about his cousin at ljs...
so i suddenly asked, if there was ljs at ssc,
DONT HAVE LEH! NO FREAKING FAST FOOD THERE LA!!!
so he went to other macs, and say me for tempting him= use more money.
then we started arguing. but i won la~~

AND, we will talk about yt too! (behind her back-.-)
then we will talk about how she might be out with that mysterious guy that keeps coming to see her at work~
lol!! the mysterious guy says he is coincidental one, but i DONT BELIEVE!
its not in my nature to anyway~

AND i cos i work there, i CAN get staff discount from the shops!
but must say i work there la.
cos got one Body Shop girl come buy, ask for discount.
then we give. so i ask her if i go can get anot,
she say can, but must tell her la~~
YAYE~~~

its fun la. me likes work:D
we hit 400 yesterday!~~
wonder how yt will do today....
hahaha, i wanna win her!!! :D

frankly, i think im an awesome sales girl.
mainly cos of my talkative-ness ba.
:D


new skin!
i wanted to look for something really loud,
cos i feel that this is really not me, too nice already.
so i tried colorful, but this skin v weird.
trying to bring a background over from another skin, but got problems.
esther when you see this, I NEED HELP! haha:D

first day of work yesterday, and i made 5 sales!
sound pathetic, but really its VERY good.
sell more then yt:D haha.
total sale yesterday was 90+
so happy i over the 80+ then they have been doing.
look forward to selling more shoes today:)

i find it easier to help people that talk.
i think with my character, i CAN talk, but you must first 'let me in'
know what i mean?
aunties are easy for me, i just dont know why, hahaa.

lunch, then off to work!


i'll blog about Saint Valentine's Day another day.
not in much of a mood to load the pictures.

went for lunch with yuntheng yesterday at pastamania.
we had to wait till 2 for the student discount, and before 2,
she go and try and tempt me to eat Ajisens.
but she pulled me away anyway, cos she v long never eat at pasta's

I'VE GOT A JOB!
eventhough not like everyday one, cos may need to alternate with yt,
but hell, at least i have something to dread/look forward to!
better then rotting at home everyday.
salesgirl.

so i'll be going there tomorrow, to learn the ropes.
and would have to start work on sat.
w or w/o yt, also not comfirmed :(

and after reading all the Harry Potter book like 3 times,
i think its an awesome story,
cos i felt all the same anticipation, happiness, sadness, every single time.
and i still cry when sirius & dumbeldore died :(
so, ive decided to re-WATCH all the shows, 1-5
wanted to watch online initially, but the web no more, so v sad.
wanted to rent the vcd, cos dvd more ex, but only got two parts.
BUT! today i checked again, the web is UP!!!!!
so now, i have lined up like 10 movies-.-
haha, 5- potter, the other 5 is some here some there~
:D but got work, so dont know how. maybe one day one/ two?

and jasper had started to grow on me UNTIL i realised how dumb he really is.
i'll elaborate another day.
no where near Toby. *sighs

i remember how toby recognised orders easily,
like if you say 'who's that!' he will automatically stand up and look to the door for any strangers.
then if you say, 'where's your toy/ball!' he will run around the whole house to find one.
then you keep it, and ask again, he will find again, until all his toys is on your lap.
wasn't he adorable? i miss him:(

there is some things i regret and feel guilty toward him for, but i never told anyone.
i cry at night picturing everything, but i just find it real hard to bring this topic up to anyone now.
the things i should have done the the day before he died,
but did not cos i din't bare to see him at his state,
when i actually should have cos i know i was everything to him the same way he was to me.
but its all to late isnt it.
and whenever i take a bus to town, i would pass the hospital,
and i know he lays there, and it makes me really sad.
i really miss his company, and touch, and smell.
he is like a missing piece in my life.
i want him back. i need him back.
please give my baby back to me.


Quote of the day:
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby,
if you give her a house, she will give you a home,
if you give her groceries, she will give you a meal,
if you give her a smile, she will give you her heart.
She multiplies whatever is given to her

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.




its thursday alread, and i havent started angsiang's sewing.
:(
better get my ass cracking, it's prolly gonna take like 3 hours...


so monday yt came over at around 2,
so we started work, she draw out the letters, cut then i started to sew.

i sew like 4-5 cm then she start.
i only do like a little more then half, she finish already-.-
so not happy~
BUT its not cos i lousy okay,
its cos i do the better method, yt lazy!
i show pics when i get them.

haha, i took like 2 1/2 hour to finish kyuan's.
while she took like less then 2 for junda's.
so she brought qinghao's home, and i gonna do angsiang's

i wanted to load the day out pics from her memory card,
but i don't know why my card reader cannot read hers.
so i'll need to wait for her comp to get repaired~

these two days have been lazying around at home,
watching The Family Guy, playing games and nothing else.
bored!~


you are an ass cos you do nothing.
and because you are an ass, i hate my life here.
you make me want to go overseas to study once and for all.
not like it would bother you either right?
fuck you.
hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you!
so much i find it ironic how i still bother to do things for you.
which makes things worse, cos i don't know why i care so much.


Last night- BaiNian+ BBQ at angsiang's place.
reached at around 1+
i totally applaud myself for getting there in one piece-.-
played majong till about 5, then went down to start up for BBQ
dint do much but talk and laugh, while the guys started fire.

so i decided to cook, but i like dropped two sausages and a slice of bacon:(
so demoralising, i dint wanna cook anymore~

drank vodka, i know i drank at least the same amount as jd,
hahaha, but he ended up worst then me.
5 cuppa shots- on the rocks.

a round of truth or dare.
and we all headed home.

really sad to be separated from all my awesome friends- elaine, esther, angsiang, guanwei, junda and on. make me feel sad im at home:(
lucky still got yt, haha.


yt's gonna come over in the afternoon.
to start up in the v-day gifts.
its totally hands on, so the guys better appreciate it.
AND WEAR IT! haha, its gonna be funny seeing their expressions when we give it to them.


5th Feb- movie
went to watch Benjamin Button with yt, angsiang and keezi.
the show was no bad actually. but thats all i can think of to say about it~
cinema v cold... me no like.
walked around with yt after, then go home liao.

6th Feb- outing with yt
( blog when i get the pics. better.)

7th Feb- Uncle Dennis' house.

8th Feb- ANGSIANG HOUSE!!!

ONE MORE DAY!!!


been watching The Family Guy these few days.
so nothing much really happened for me.



went to ahyi's place to visit last night,
cos she just came back from an operation.
and biaojie baked brownie for me:D
the thing about brownie is that no matter how sweet it is,
there will always be a tiny bit of bitter,
so ice-cream has got to come in to help.

I MISS MY FRIENDS.

not that i was v close with some of the guys.

but their company was the best time I've had for the 16 years of my life.

I'm not daring enough to be the only girl with a big group of guys.

but i always felt that there had to be a mixture, to balance things out.

not too girly nor dirty.

but now, more then half of them is in jc,

only left angsiang (the only one i'm more close to)

sometimes i find myself thinking if i should have just gone to a jc instead.

but that's the lonely side of me talking,

if i want to ask then out frequently, it would seem selfish

because they are after all already preparing from their A's next year.

ahh, so confusing.

cant wait till sunday!

countdown: 4 more days!


dad told me to email my aunts in australia about what im gonna do in poly and stuff.
cos they were asking if i wanted to go over study.

so it suddenly like made me think.
like i used to want so much to go over forever, cos all the cousins are there.
so initially i thought i should choing in jc, then get a place in melbourne-u.
not easy though, lol.

but now im in poly. i think i will study hard, since my course is what i chose,
as in its something i like, and feel 'passionate' toward.
so it should be much easier that way.

but then i thought.
IF, i am eligible to go to both a local uni, and melbourne uni. which would i chose.
i would chose a local uni.
i mean, from the little that i am aware of,
singapore's universities is one of the top few ( or like top 50 or something)
while althought melbourne uni is the best there, so long you willing to pay the money, you should be able to get in, maybe cos the school bigger?

but somehow i think it will be to the disappointment of my aunts.
but if what i study permits me to go over there and get a job, why not?

so i see my future there and hope it would be happy.
though i wont be with my friends in singapore~

but maybe only at that time will i be able to actually know where my heart turly lies.
then i will decide~